Archive for the “Humour” Category
Paycheck in American Politics, Catholicism, Entertainment, Humour
What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
What’s the difference between the Toronto Maple Leafs and a cigarette vending machine?
What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and whales have in common?
Why are the Toronto Maple Leafs like Canada Post?
Why doesn’t Hamilton have an professional hockey team?
What do the Toronto Maple Leafs, Toronto Argonauts and the Toronto Blue Jays all have in common besides being based in Toronto?
What do you call 30 millionaires around a TV watching the Stanley Cup Playoffs?
What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and Billy Graham have in common?
How do you keep the Toronto Maple Leafs out of your yard?
What do you call a Toronto Maple Leaf with a Stanley Cup ring?
What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and possums have in common?
How many Toronto Maple Leafs does it take to win a Stanley Cup?
Received from a friend of Socon or Bust…
Sometime this year, Ontario taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus payment i.e HST rebate. This is a very exciting program from the Ontario government. I’ll explain it using the Q&A format:
If a *conservative* is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a *liberal* is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a *conservative* doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.
If a *liberal *doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
Paycheck in Humour, Liberalism, Media Distortions
A Harley biker is visiting the zoo in Calgary, Alberta when he sees a little girl leaning into the bars of the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker without hesitation runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. Read the rest of this entry »
My girls treated me like a King last night. When people ask my wife and I if we want a boy, I tell them “Not really”. I think to myself, “If you saw how my girls treated me and what kind of little women they have turned out to be, why would I want to stop a good thing from continuing?” Besides someone has to be responsible for the next generation of pro-life, Catholic feminists.
p.s I got a copy of Ezra’s Shakedown too!
Paycheck in Humour, Life & Family Issues
Their situation is a common experience for large families. Perfect strangers showing visible incredulity or disgust, intentionally making condescending remarks within earshot, or coming up and boldly asking inappropriate questions. I should qualify my statement: It is a common experience for white families. I doubt too many large black or Muslim families hear these remarks (although other things are probably said behind their backs). I suspect that those who make such remarks are intimidated and angered that couples of their own generation, racial group and cultural background are not following the contemporary norm for families: 0, 1, 2 or 3 children. The hypocrisy of this faned shock is that many of my generation grew up in large families or had relatives or friends who did. We have such things before, often lived it firsthand. We simply pretend it is foreign and unbelievable.
- Fr Elijah
“The wife has been on my case to get the Christmas lights up for a couple of weeks. They are up now but for some strange reason, she will not talk to me.”
Cue the Banjo, Jethro…..
I know, I know. It’s Lent and I said I would be laying off the blogging. But I just couldn’t resist this one:
Although this is hosted by that odious and wicked organization, the American Civil Liberties Union, it captures perfectly the socialist clamour for power and control.
Three men strike up a conversation in the airport lounge in Calgary, while awaiting their respective flights. One is an American Indian, another is an Alberta Cowboy and the third
Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull. Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and softly says, ” At one time here, my people were many, but sadly, now we are few.” The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward, “Once my people were few and now we are many,” he sneers. “Why do you suppose that is?”
The Alberta cowboy shifts his toothpick to one side of his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a smooth drawl, “That’s ’cause we ain’t played Cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe it’s a comin’.