Archive for the “Humour” Category

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In

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The look is priceless…some people have the lamest excuses to slam Christianity.

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Notice the kids in the background and what they’re doing and who they’re not paying attention to?

Obama is so yesterday.

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  • If a Republican doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.
  • If a Democrat doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
  • If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
  • If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
  • If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
  • If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
  • If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
  • If a Democrat is down-and-out he wonders who is going to take care of him.
  • If a Republican doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
  • A Democrat demands that those they don’t like be shut down.
  • If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
  • A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
  • If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
  • If a Democrat decides he needs health care, he demands that the rest of us pay for his.
  • If a Republican reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
  • A Democrat will delete it because he’s “offended”.

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Bahahaha.

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…Here, in confirming that he and his wife will observe “celibacy” after his ordination to the priesthood, the deacon makes the single most common error one sees in this whole matter, namely, confusing “celibacy” (the determination not to marry) with “continence” (the determination not to engage in sexual relations). Now, Canon 277 expects perfect and perpetual continence of all clerics in the West, married or single, but canon law does not expect celibacy of all clerics. The deacon is hardly alone is making this terminological mistake. We all know what he meant…. (Source)

Don’t lose your head.  That’s just the opinion of one Canon lawyer.  Here is the resolution.

Loved this joke at the end of it:

I’m reminded of an old joke.

A devout Catholic asks his parish priest, “Father is it permissible for my wife and I to make love before Mass on Sunday?”

And the priest replied:  ”Certainly.  Just don’t block the aisles.”

p.s. Canon 277 clearly does not apply to married priests or married deacons because Canon 277 does not envision covering their situations:

1983 CIC 277. § 1. Clerics are obliged to observe perfect and perpetual continence for the sake of the kingdom of heaven and therefore are bound to celibacy which is a special gift of God by which sacred ministers can adhere more easily to Christ with an undivided heart and are able to dedicate themselves more freely to the service of God and humanity. § 2. Clerics are to behave with due prudence towards persons whose company can endanger their obligation to observe continence or give rise to scandal among the faithful. § 3. The diocesan bishop is competent to establish more specific norms concerning this matter and to pass judgment in particular cases concerning the observance of this obligation.

The obligation to continence in the law is clearly speaking about SINGLE men because it speaks in the context of celibacy.  Celibacy, by the Church’s definition, is broader than simply being continent, since it also includes being unmarried.  Therefore, this canon does not apply to married men who become deacons or priests in the Catholic Church.  Socon or Bust readers will remember the case of the Lesbian Catholic Buddhist and the dust up that Ed Peters was involved with in that one.  It seems that Ed’s off the mark with this one too.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m a big fan of celibacy. But I’m not a big fan of Ed’s interpretations.

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The ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

Two Different Versions.

Two Different Morals.

OLD VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house, and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE OLD STORY:

Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving. Read the rest of this entry »

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We’re so spoiled, it’s tragically funny…

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Moral corruption.  Meet your brother, Economic collapse.

Surely you knew you had the same mother, didn’t you?  Didn’t you?

The Clock… 

A man died and went to heaven. 

As he stood in front of St.  Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. 

He asked, “What are all those clocks?” 

St.  Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks.  Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.

Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.” 

“Oh,” said the man, “whose clock is that?” 

“That’s Mother Teresa’s.  The hands never moved, indicating that she never lied.”

 “Incredible,” said the man.  “And whose clock is that one?”

 St.  Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock.  The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.”

 “Where’s Premier McGuinty’s clock?” asked the man.

“McGuinty’s clock is in God’s office.  He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”

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True, that.

H/T Big Blue Wave.

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On  “Late Show with David Letterman,” the CBS host said he was “stunned” and “fascinated” by Anthony Weiner’s predicament. He then said the following: “Honest to God, is this the kind of behavior you’d expect from a congressman! No. In simple terms, no. It is not the kind of behavior you’d expect from a congressman. It is the kind of behavior you’d expect from a priest.” 

Catholic League president Bill Donohue comments as follows:  

In addition to Rep. Weiner, the following members of Congress have been involved in cases of sexual improprieties in recent years: Rep. Chris Lee, Rep. Mark Souder, Rep. Eric Massa, Rep. Vito Fossella, Rep. Mark Foley, Rep. Gerry Studds, Rep. Barney Frank, Rep. Daniel Crane, Sen. Larry Craig, Sen. David Vitter, Sen. John Edwards and Sen. John Ensign. In addition, the following governors have a sordid record: Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gov. Jim Gibbons, Gov. Jim McGreevey, Gov. Eliot Spitzer, Gov. Mark Sanford and Gov. Bob Wise. President Bill Clinton was similarly compromised. 

Regarding priests, 149 of them are responsible for 27 percent of all the alleged cases of abuse over the past half-century—out of a total of 100,000 priests. More important, almost no priests today are the subject of allegations.  

We know one thing for sure: the average person working for David Letterman is far more likely to have been the subject of sexual harassment—by him, no less—than those working for a priest. Perhaps the next time he will be more accurate and compare himself to Weiner. But he should note one caveat: Weiner, so far as we know, is unlike Letterman in this respect—he did not commit adultery, never mind serial adultery.  

Contact Kimberly Izzo-Emmet, director of “Late Night” publicity: krizzo@cbs.com

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Church Ladies With typewriters .. . .

They’re Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:  

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 Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.

  Read the rest of this entry »

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Courtesy: Bad Vestments

H/T Big Blue Wave

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