Canada Silent No More

Connie T, from Ontario says, “The fact that I killed my own babies destroyed me. I was suicidal after the abortion and had a nervous breakdown. I struggled with drugs, promiscuity and prostitution because of my poor self identity. The grief is real. Don’t do it, you’ll regret it, It’s your baby. Let me help you bring your pregnancy to term.”
Roberta from N.B. says it was the only pregnancy she ever had. After the abortion she felt like a piece of dirt, used, unworthy and betrayed by her boyfriend. She got clinically depressed and would sleep all the time, she wanted to kill herself, she had deep regret and remorse about the abortion. She had nightmares and has not been able to conceive since. She is now 40 years old. Go to a pregnancy counselling centre, get the facts on fetal development and all the risk factors…abortion is emotionally damaging to women, and the unborn are people too. Her mother and aunt both had breast cancer and she is afraid of her high risk due to her abortion.
Vicky had an abortion when she was 23. She was traumatized by the procedure and it brought guilt, remorse and depression. She has also had two cysts removed from her breast and is very concerned about women not being informed about the truth.
Kelly Aquilon from B.C. says that after her abortion she went into denial, trying to block it out, but feelings of emptiness, anger, sadness and remorse began to surface. She hated herself, and says her abortion destroyed her child’s life and her life too.
S.H. from B.C writes that for years she tried to kill the pain of her abortion with alcohol.. When she discovered the truth about what was developed ten weeks after conception, it traumatized her. They told her it would be painless, and over soon. They lied. She cried often and still mourns the loss of that child
Heather Dalzell from Alberta writes: “After my abortion I had a major sense of loss and guilt, I withdrew from family. I could not bond to my step children, and I had no peace. Abortion murdered my baby, it was wrong, but I thank God for His mercy and forgiveness towards me.”
A.N. writes: “I still feel physically sick when I remember this period of my life…After the abortion I cried uncontrollably, from the shame, guilt, remorse, sadness, anger and depression it has left me, but as hard as I try-27 years later-it is as fresh as the beginning of the nightmare.”
Kathy W. writes: “My abortion brought tremendous guilt and shame once I discovered the truth about fetal development. It is something I can never undo, I have to live with this for the rest of my life and know that I had my baby killed.”
Lorie Sprokkreeff writes: “Abortion brought major depression, feelings that I was a bad mother. I pretended for many years that I wasn’t hurt by the abortion. Yet, I punished others, my husband the father of our aborted child, and our live children. It will effect us for the rest of our lives. We are the parents of a dead baby.”
J.D. writes: “I have suffered long term depression, had flashbacks and nightmares of my abortion experience. It affects the way I parent my son, I know that is why I am so overprotective of him…abortion should be illegal.”
Linda Groce writes: “Shortly after my abortion, I told my doctor I wanted to be sterilized to ensure that I would never have to go through another abortion. Canadians should protect children in the womb, it is wrong.”
Lucie Tettemente from Alberta says her abortion left her physically, emotionally and spiritually crippled. She fought depression and loathed herself after the abortion, and also got a tumor on her left ovary. It affected her sexuality, because abortion is connected to sex!
Bianca B from Ontario says she has a badly scarred uterus, and got a tumor called a molar pregnancy. She got an infection, fought depression, and says she is forever linked to those babies as their mother.
Noelle Thornton writes: “After an abortion at 19, the guilt was unbearable, my self-esteem was shattered and I was an emotional mess. I went into a depression couldn’t stop crying and had to quit my job. I had severe nightmares, was self-destructive and found myself in abusive relationships. A baby will never hurt you, but an abortion will traumatize you!”
Janelle Terry writes: “I thought it would solve my problem, but abortion made me feel guilty, felt worthless, I hated myself, I couldn’t sleep, I was full of anxiety, and anger, I got depressed and had to go on medication because I aborted my child. Children should have a right to live, they are human beings too. Two wrongs do not make a right.”
C.M from Winnipeg writes: “I tried to pretend it didn’t happen and justify it in my mind for ten years after. I was only 14 and my parents pressured me into it. I did experience anger towards them, low self-esteem and depression after the abortion. I have had a lump removed from my breast and worry about the breast cancer link too.”
Laurie Mennie from Saskatchewan writes: “I was pressured by my boyfriend and parents to abort, but I got severe depression after the abortion and thought of committing suicide several times over the next 16 years. Not a day went by that I didn’t think of that abortion and my dead baby. I went into premature labour with my two sons at only seven months gestation. Abortion hurts women big time, and takes an innocent life.”

______________________
If you have had an abortion, do not despair. There is love and healing for you right now. There are many people praying for you. We love you. We care about you. We want to help you. But you have to be courageous and come forward. To do that, you need to come out of that closet and speak to our nation about your experience. Do not be afraid. Only trust. There is healing, forgiveness, and closure waiting for you.
We’ll wait for you. For as long as it takes. And we’ll keep praying for you.
Courage. Trust. Hope. Remember these as you fight your demons.
7 Responses to “Canada Silent No More”
  1. Diana says:

    I had an abortion 2 weeks ago from today (Feb 19, 09). Oh how i wish i could go back in time. The night i found out i was pregnant i was a scared. The morning brought light and hope, i had been blessed. My boyfriend of three years wanted me to get an abortion. Abortion was not an option for me. He caused a lot of grief and stress that i began having complications but i was determined to keep my precious baby. I prayed to God to give me strength and to open my boyfriend’s heart and soul. Three weeks later, my boyfriend finally accepted that i was keeping my baby but began having suicidal thoughts. He attempted suicide once by drinking pills and he said he would keep attempting until he was successful. I felt trapped and misguided. His mother having had gone through an abortion herself almost 30 years back guilt tripped me into getting one. So i felt like if i didn’t get an abortion, i would be responsible for my boyfriend’s death. I wish i could have stayed strong and regret not walking away. He had a choice to kill himself or not, and that wasn’t my responsibility. My baby did not have a choice. I took that choice from him/her. My job was to protect him and i failed him. Now i am left with so much pain, despair, guilt, shame, and an emptiness that will never go away. I will never look into his/her precious eyes and tell him how much i love him. I will never be able to hold him, kiss him, play with him, read to him, wipe away his tears. My baby is gone, and i killed him. I loved and love him and i hope he can forgive me. I hope that one day we will reunite, and i can finally be with him. I don’t understand why my boyfriend’s mom would persuade/manipulate me knowing the pain involved killing your own child, it was her grandchild, her own flesh and blood. This is something i will regret the rest of my life.

  2. SUZANNE says:

    I am so sorry Diana. God Bless You.

  3. Christina says:

    Hugs, Diana. Please reach out for help to other women like the Silent No More or Rachel’s Vineyard. Don’t try to deal with this alone.

  4. Kelli says:

    I know what you are going through, Diana. I was in your same situation almost 16 years ago. It will take time to work through everything you are feeling. Do you have nightmares like I did? I can still vividly recall them.
    In time you will forgive yourself. Cry out to God and He can forgive you, that’s a great first step. There are organizations that can help you like Concerned Women for America and Silent No More.
    I wish you much luck in your journey to healing.

  5. Doris says:

    Dear Diana,
    Please know you’re in my prayers and I’m sure lots of people who’ve read your words are praying for you too.
    As you see in the comments above, there is help available towards recovery and healing.
    If you’re in the Ottawa area, there’s a Rachel Vineyard’s retreat happening April 3rd to the 5th. You can contact them here :
    http://www.newwine.ca/post-abortion-healing-recovery.htm

    If you’re not in Ottawa, see their website for upcoming retreats. Both US and International retreats are listed here :
    http://www.rachelsvineyard.org/index.htm

    Please reach out and don’t carry this burden alone.

  6. anonymous says:

    I had an abortion 10 days ago. I want to go back and stop myself from doing it. The trauma is unbearable. I want to put the baby back in my belly so bad. I am in such grief it is killing me. I hate myself. I can’t sleep because the dreams are to real. I’m ashamed and feel like I should sit in jail for murder. I have been drinking and taking pills just to cope and numb myself. I wish I could go back. I am certain god will not forgive me. I have no purpose anymore. none.

  7. Pacheco says:

    Anonymous,

    Listen carefully to me. What you did was wrong. There’s no point in sugar-coating that. BUT. And please pay attention to the “BUT”: But all hope is not lost. There is forgiveness and hope for you. Christ promised forgiveness to all those who seek Him through faith and seek to amend their lives. There are also groups of women who have gone through abortions and offer counselling and support.

    Please do not despair. Christ still loves you. Turn to Him now and begin the journey of healing and restoration and redemption.

    Peace,

    John Pacheco

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